Publishing

Life is not a fairy tale. I keep reminding myself of this little fact every chance I get. But that doesn't mean I believe it. Oh, I've long given up on princes and glass slippers and magical kisses, but I'm not so sure about the fairy godmother thing. A part of me still wants to believe that somewhere out there, out in the mists on the edges of reality, someone is lurking, someone with kind intentions and all the right answers, someone who lugs around a magical wand and a bag of fairy dust, someone who--with a wave or a poof or a sprinkle-- can make my life magical. Out there somewhere is someone who can make my books sell. Right now, I'd settle for someone with a few connections who knows how to write html code and and has at least some inkling of how the world of Kindle and self-publishing works--with or without fairy dust.

The world of self-publishing is exciting, frustrating, fulfilling, and anticlimactic all at the same time. Exciting: Yay! The book is finished, it's been edited a hundred and one times, and I have a cover. (Time: 12 seconds) Frustrating: The file uploads easily but all of the pages are skewed and the first page number begins at 125. (Time: 4 hours or 4 days--it feels like forever) Fulfilling: I did it. I actually DID IT! (Time: 5 seconds) Anticlimactic (also known as panic-mode): You know how in the movies there are always scenes where the writer smokes a cigar or pops open a bottle of champagne when the book is finished and finally ready for sale? Well, that's not exactly the feeling for me. The giddiness is momentary and then panic sets in. What if no one reads it? What if someone does read it and doesn't like it? What if a lot of people read it? What if . . .? And then I smack myself in the head and remind myself why I write in the first place. Because I have to. Why do I self-publish? Because I can. In this wonderful world of online connectivity and freedom, I can write my books my way in my own time. And that means a lot to me. Would I like the books to be best sellers? Of course I would! Will that happen? I hope so. Which leads me back to the fairy tale.

Following the traditional path of publishing seems strange to me. I can throw myself and my work out there through submission after submission and hope and pray that someone in the publishing world will find it acceptable and agree to publish. Or I can throw myself and my work out there into the world of self-publishing and hope and pray that my friends and family will find their way to my books and then encourage others to do the same. Either way, there must be a little magic involved somewhere along the line. So although I continue to tell myself that life is not a fairy tale, I keep an eye out for the flutter of wings or the glimmer of sparkly dust and keep writing. And writing. And writing.